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justclaraoswald:

i don’t even remember like 85% of 2012

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toxicwinner:

aliens: land on earth
us: gives them a brief overview
aliens: my mama says i gotta come home right now immediately 

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dropdeadesu:

A friend of mine just messaged me saying “I fucked up. I was doing math with my son, and I told him to ‘hold up eleven fingers’ and he started to panic and I didn’t realize why until he screamed ‘MOM…MOM I ONLY HAVE TEN”

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and i said to my body. softly. ‘i want to be your friend.’ it took a long breath. and replied, ‘i have been waiting my whole life for this.’

nayyirah waheed (via noshoes-noworries)
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